"I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don't want to shrink back just because something isn't easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can't and I can. Maybe that spot is called I will."
Kristin Armstrong
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I've been struggling lately.
Shoot--haven't we all??
With a loss of control over my circumstances, feeling a little helpless to help my kids navigate the tough emotional waters of this new reality, finding ways to stay connected with friends and family while having a little personal space/time, too, and trying to make that 'next best choice' to help support my family when everything is so...uncertain.
While I do freak out from time to time, I try not to get bogged down by the fears and uncertainty.
Instead of freaking out and turning it into a total tailspin, as I would have just a few years ago, I'm working to ride out the storm, looking for the lessons, seeing the discomfort as a catalyst for change.
I'm working to embrace the struggle rather than trying to escape it.
I'm letting it help me grow instead of shut me down. It's uncomfortable as hell, but I know it's okay to experience this all and to struggle.
Because over the past few years, I've learned this to be true: It’s okay to struggle.
Really.
It’s okay to feel unsure, to be uncomfortable, to have to stretch our abilities from what we know we can do or handle to try things we feel like we’re bad at.
It’s okay to suck at things—especially when we’re learning new skills (physical or mental or behavioral).
It’s okay to suck at things for a lot longer than we *think* we should.
Really.
Because when we leave the comforts of what we know, what we’re comfortable or confident doing, we start to grow.
And, yes, that growth, that stretching can be painful.
But the end results, the greater self-efficacy, self-trust, belief in our abilities, and increased bravery just can’t be beat.
So we can shrink back from all those uncomfortable moments, multiple ‘failures,’ from those challenges, from those things we’re terrible at (at least in the beginning), that feel so very hard or unpleasant, OR we can push back.
We can push back against our (current) limits, dare to stink at doing new things, dare to live in the 'messy middle' of it all, to allow our egos to be challenged...and give ourselves the opportunity to grow.
To evolve through this experience.
If there’s one thing I can encourage you to do through all this, it’s to push back.
Push back against your current limits.
Push back against long-held, limiting beliefs about your self and negative self-talk.
Push back against the idea that you have to be a certain size or shape to be worthy.
Push back against old definitions of what you're 'good' or 'bad' at doing.
Push back against the idea that you can’t do something because you’re too old (or too young).
Push back against the idea that you have to do things perfectly or you're failing.
Push back against the idea that you're not enough as is, that you can't handle the challenges in front of you.
Push back against anything that holds you back from achieving your human potential.
Push back, because I’m telling you those limits are imaginary, and a level of greatness you’ve yet to achieve lies in the other side of them.
Creating positive change begins with changing our minds, with refusing to stay where we are or accept the limits (real or imagined) placed on us.
The simple act of changing our mind opens a new world of opportunity to us.
So say no to your 'limits' and say yes to discovering and pursuing your full potential and living the most satisfying existence possible.
Push back, and start saying, "I can...and I will."
In this thing with you,
Kate
I have been going through a huge struggle inside of me for a very long , long time. So long it seems to be my whole life. But reading this blog helps and I’m going to try and write it out today so I can see my struggle for what it is. And, possibly seek the correct avenues and support to pull through. Thank you
Oh Mary, that takes so much courage. Go you. And I’m here for you.
Kate